Naked, Gay and Free (on parole actually)

Not suitable for human consumptiion


I got the idea from my fellow ghey Bloggers to post a naked picture on Thursday because Thursday is Thor's day who was always going about taking ghey pictures of his man meat which as we all know he got from Mago who got it from some midgets.
The hammer which he named 'Mjollnir' (mine is named 'Kenny' as you all know) was powerful and magic even though the shaft was shorter than usual, it got the job done in other words showing us a valuable lesson that *quality and technique* is better than quantity and amateurishness. (is that a word?)

Yes there are parts of me that have never seen the sun. Back when I was younger the only people with tans were the poor black folks working out in the fields and the rich uns were ultraviolet white and well a tan was just for commoners.

Well for yer titillation enjoy the picture, yes it really is me naked, ghey and free.
I was thinking about having superpowers as I was looking at the young weemen on the bus dressed in their tight revealing leopard skin print clothing with a ton of makeup on shivering in the brisk Fresno evening on their way out to some club to dance around their handbags.

The usual invisibility came to mind as I could feel them up un-noticed or watch them as later on they have a drunken shag bent over a wheelie bin in some romantic alley. Everyone thinks about invisibility how boring.
I then thought of a really good one. The power to fire wet concrete from my hands, like the ice-man but with concrete. I could make it set super fast and get paid millions paving 3rd world countries like Canada or Africa.
If someone shot a gun at me my super thick concrete wall would save me and then fall down on them. I could sneakily put speed bumps on the roads where the little boy racers in their Honda civics tear down or fire out bolts of concrete at Mosques and Synagogues breaking their windows and just stand there looking all innocent.
I would be the master of concrete, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! of course I should have a cool name. I thought about Constructo but that reminds me of the hunky ghey worker in the Village People. So then I though Man-Crete or Con-Man, maybe even Man-Cretion, here is a couple of open questions for you to abuse, what would you call me? and what would yer power be?

I got home with my DVD that I rented out, "Fisting Firemen Four" I had heard good reviews about it and a lot of Oscar buzz.
I opened the box and found they had given me the wrong one, those dopey fuckers. I wasn't going all the way down the road to change it so I put it into my recently *found* DVD player.

It was some space film I had never heard of called, "Space heroes" The hero of the film had a chip on his shoulder when he failed at something resulting in the deaths of millions. He was talking to an alien mate of his who had just made a mistake, he said, "I know how you feel fucking up and all" I'm paraphrasing here. The Alien said "No I welcome what you Earthlings call 'fucking up' because then I get the chance to learn from my mistakes," then he said some words of wisdom that really made me think." Those who never try never fail" this theme makes a comeback near the end of the film when the hero hears those words like Obi-wan Kenobi in Star Wars to Luke and it motivates him. I can't remember too much about the end as I was too pished.

I did learn something valuable, "Those who never try never fail" so to not put yerself in the position of being a loser or failure you should never try. Getting the wrong DVD must have been a message straight from god. Enough, I'm off for a shit and a wank, just not sure in which order though.
*If the police ask thats my story*

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Go ahead... shat on me again.